Thursday, 28 May 2009

Blasphemy


As I was drinking my tea earlier I had over heard someone utter the phrase "Jesus Christ". I thought about that phrase for a minute or two and realised that the Bible was WRONG!

Now, before you religious nuts go crazy, I am not hating on Christians. I for one was thrilled for his return to WWE. (ba-dum-tssh) But seriously, I have found several flaws with this "Taking The Lord's Name In Vein" crap.

For example. When somebody does something wrong, people say "oh for god's sake...!!!!" This is considered blasphemous, when in actual fact you are asking God herself to save this person from their own stupidity.. for God's sake depends on it.

Another one is "Jesus Christ!!!" When one is shocked and/or surprised, the previous phrase is used to express one's self. Bad? No. Not in the slightest. For you are calling on Jesus himself to save you at that moment.

Does the bastard come though? Not bloody likely...

If, however, you were to add the words "Titty-Fucking" (or something along those lines) to make the phrase "Jesus Titty-Fucking Christ".. this would still be fine! Everybody knows that Pimps and Playas have a great lifestyle and let's not forget that Jesus himself has a 12 strong posse. But that story is for another day.

"May God Strike Me Down!!" is not bad either. God has no time for your petty hissy fits or point proving rants. You know full well he can't. For the benefit of those who do not know, he used to employ this chap Zeus for that but after Striking Ben Franklin he had his license revoked. He only does storms now. If you ask God to strike you down he has to fill out all these forms and he really has no time for this. It's a decline. God is a lazy cunt. He only answers the prayers of the greedy and selfish because he gets higher commission rates for immoral deeds.

So, to summarise. Blaspheme all you want. You WILL get away it is, because the religious world is as corrupt as your Governments.

Original Myspace date : Thursday, January 29, 2009

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