Thursday, 28 May 2009

Just talking shit

OK, picture this scenario.

You're at work. You're about to go to home for lunch. But you have to poo. Do you wait until your lunch has begun and do your business or poo in the office before lunch?

I had this very dilemma thrust upon me today, so I decided to weigh up the pros and cons of where the best place to poo is.

OFFICE POOPING:


Pros:

Will feel relieved much faster.
Won't look constipated walking down the street.
Risk of pants shitting will be eliminated.
You'll have to take your lunch later so essentially you are being paid to shit.
Better hand soaps.

Cons:

You will have to take your lunch later.
People will know who's smell that was.
Horrible toilet paper.
Risk of leaving a floater.
Risk of finding somebody else's floater.
Risk of seat splatter.
Risk of pee puddles on the floor.
Queuing for the toilet.
You have to wash your hands.

HOME POOPING:


Pros:

No queues.
Any foul smells will be undetectable.
Any bowl skid marks will be unseen.
Better quality toilet paper/toilets.
Better reading material.
Can take as much time as you need.
Can fart as loud as you want.
Any floaters will be your girlfriend's/wife's so you can take the piss out of her later
You don't have to wash your hands.

Cons:

Using your own resources.
Valuable lunch/Playstation/wank time wasted.
Risk of being unable to make it through the door in time.
Risk of being late back from lunch as a result of excess waste.
You won't be getting paid to do this.
Unless you have shitty fingers, you'll probably not wash your hands.

CONCLUSION:


OFFICE: -4 HOME: 3

Although Home Pooping clearly outweighs Office Pooping, there may be some serious risks involved with having a crap at home. If you don't mind having a late lunch and/or monitoring the flushing at work then poop before going.

Original Myspace Date :
Thursday, May 28, 2009

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