Wednesday, 3 June 2009

Hate-a-thon #1

There has been a lot of things in the past year that have really got on my tits. I will now run down a few of them.

1) Adverts with hippy music: Somebody asked me a few months ago if I had seen the new Dell advert. I hadn't so I checked it out on the 'tube, thinking it would be amazing/clever. It wasn't. It was people with laptops with horrible music about somebody being "green today". It made me wonder how hippy music makes people want to buy this?

Loads of adverts have hippy music now. Hippys suck! Hippys don't buy fabric softener, laptops or phone network subscriptions. They buy guitars and weed.

2) "Celebrity" World Leaders: I know Barack Obama is the first black president. I know George Dubya was an idiot. I know Tony Blair looks like a goblin. But they are politicians not the winner of X-Factor! Our leaders are even guest appearing on shows the Simpsons and Comic Relief more than the actors nowadays. Fuck we even have The Terminator as a Governor of California now! Don't they have effing jobs to do? No wonder we're targeted by terrorists!

If I had the power to make any celebrity president of the word, I'd choose Mr. T. He'd fuck you up with just his manic stare. Of course, all wars fought will have no casualties as every bullet fired will hit nothing. While the ammo is being wasted Mr. T will roll up in his van and throw the enemy leader into the sun. Above everything else his "drink your milk and stay in school" global policy will eliminate those street scum we call chavs, because nobody will cross Mr. T.

3) The British Youths of Today:
lyk, ths won tym i wz on fcebk n i wz redin da stus updts. 1 ov my m8z hd typd a msg lyk ths. i 4rt it wz cz she wz soooooooooooooooooooooo pissed bt on furver inspection she typs lyk ths nrmally. LOLZ!

If you cannot read the above paragraph then you are not alone. The person who I am referring to is not a dumb person. She just cannot seem to type, yet she uses a social networking website. You're not sending a text message.

It appears that 1 in 3 British youths are brain dead and cannot string together a decent sentence.
That's not even an exaggeration. We even have TV shows now that are trying to help combat the retardation of our nation. Unfortunately BBC, it's failing. When the people on your show are talking about their cutting booze out, WITH A PINT OF BEER IN THEIR HAND, you know that the program is just glorifying this behaviour.

The person in the above picture was probably really impressed with the previous night's events. This was on his facebook the next day. He tagged his best mate as his arse. Classy.

4) Family Guy:
Of all the shows to cancel and bring back, why this? Futurama was much better then Family Guy and they've only just brought that back. FAMILY GUY IS NOT FUNNY. It's a show for stupid people with a sieve for a brain. The first series was at least TRYING to follow a plot. Now it's just random shite thrown together. None of the minor characters are memorable. Who the fuck cares about an old pervert or some rambling gay man? And just when you thought the show couldn't be any more retarded they made this episode.

Nuff said. I'm bored now.

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